In trying to make sure everyone is "caught up" in what is going on in our lives, I feel like just saying "we are pregnant with twins" doesn't really tell anyone how we made it to this point. Unfortunately it wasn't exactly the road we anticipated, but we tried to take it all in stride...
Of course we started trying to add to our family like any other couple. After a few months of praying and hoping we were not getting the result we wanted. So I mentioned in passing at my yearly check-up in February 2009, we were trying to have a baby. My doctor decided to check everything out to make sure there wasn't anything affecting my ability to get pregnant. This was the first "test" we had that didn't go exactly our way. The doctor told me I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). It was a "minor setback" according to my doctor. He said he would put me on Clomid and I would be pregnant in no time. So we tried the Clomid for a few months and it was Jonathan that said he didn't understand why we weren't testing him also. So he went to get tested so we would know whether it was just me keeping us from having the baby of our dreams. We didn't get great news and Jonathan was placed on a couple of prescriptions. We were sent to Dr. Barnett, our fertility specialist. We met with Dr. Barnett and we were very encouraged. He said with such confidence at the end of our first meeting "I will give you a baby!" What fantastic words to hear from this man we had just met. It is crazy to think how assured we were, but we were both willing to listen to anyone that had an idea on how to get us to our end product, a baby!
So begins the battery of tests to make sure I am capable of carrying a baby. I don't like to admit the first step he asked me to take but it was a crucial one. He told me I needed to lose some weight. It took me no time to jump on that wagon and in six months I had lost almost 35 pounds. I was proud and so was he. The next test was a hysteroscopy. This one was a little painful but I kept reminding myself this man promised me a baby, so he can put me through any torture necessary. The general idea of this test was to look inside my uterus to make sure it was ready to hold a baby, which means no cysts, fibroids, or other lesions. The results of this test were the first good piece of news we had been given. Next step was trying to make sure Jonathan and I knew how to administer all the drugs I would have to take during this process. Yes, I was a little nervous about the idea of giving myself shots and even more nervous knowing Jonathan would give some of them. For those that know me well, I have a need to be in control and obviously I was no longer in control. We decided to start our first IVF cycle in December 2009. It took us this long just to get to the point where we could try IVF. So I ordered all the drugs, including the birth control pill prescribed. This was odd to me, but Dr. Barnett's words were "I want to be in total control of your cycle" and I understood from that perspective of control that I was giving over to him. I started my first injectable drug, Lupron, on December 22nd. The purpose of this drug was to keep me from releasing the eggs too early. The next drug I started on January 2nd was called Gonal-F. This one made me produce multiple eggs. Both of these drugs were daily injections that I gave myself into the tissue right around my belly button. The first few times I was scared. I don't like shots very much! I eventually reached the point where it seemed like nothing to give these little shots. They overlapped for about 7 days, so my stomach became very bruised from all these little pricks. I couldn't wait to be done with these. Of course during this time it seemed like the nurses must all be vampires because I was constantly in the office having blood drawn to check some hormone level or another. They also did several sonograms to check and make sure there were enough follicles that had been stimulated to do the egg retrieval. I know this all seems very clinical, but during this time all I could think was to not mess up the dose or the timing of each shot. One had to be before 10 am every morning and the other had to be between 6 pm and 8 pm. My way of dealing with the timing of each shot was to set an alarm. The most uncomfortable part of this piece of the process was the bloated feeling I had from what I can only assume was my ovaries swelling to what must have been the size of watermelons. On January 10th, Jonathan gave me my first "big" shot. This is what I lovingly called the shots that he gave me in my rear end. In order for Jonathan to know where to give these shots, the nurse kindly drew large circles on my backside. This should keep Jonathan from accidentally hitting my sciatic nerve. The HCG shot was to signal my ovaries to release all the eggs that they had been preparing. My egg retrieval was scheduled for January 12th, and I had heard this was an excruciating process. However, it wasn't painful since Dr. Barnett knocked me completely out for this one. I was a little sore afterwards, but I was so glad to hear they had taken 14 eggs out. This meant that I might have two good ones (picture attached below is the two eggs they put back in) to put back in and even better yet, there might be a few to freeze in case this first attempt didn't work. Because of our specific situation, we had an additional procedure added to the IVF process called ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection). This just means that they actually injected a single sperm into each egg. Of the 14 eggs they took out, only 9 of them were mature enough to be fertilized. Between the 12th and the 17th (the day they put the eggs back in) there was nothing for us to do except sit and hope the eggs were dividing like they were supposed to. On the 17th, we went in that morning knowing this could be the day we get pregnant. Of the 9 eggs they fertilized, we ended up with two eggs that were mature enough to implant. The others wouldn’t mature enough to freeze for later use. If this didn't work, we would have to start over. Neither of us let this fact dampen our spirits. We were sure this would work for us! It was an emotional day for so many reasons; what if it didn't work and for that matter what if it did! Were we really ready? I know you would think we had already asked ourselves that before we entered into the whole process, but this was the first time it seemed real. The placement of the eggs was painless, of course my fear was that they would fall out. Thank goodness the nurse we had that day knew exactly what we were thinking and before we left, she assured me they wouldn't fall out. For the next two and a half days I laid in bed. I was very bored, but luckily I had family and friends who talked to me until all my phones were dead. On the 26th, I had a blood test to see if I was pregnant. The result of this blood test was exactly what we were hoping! YES! We are pregnant! The doctor then scheduled an ultrasound for February 16th to look and make sure everything was going according to plan. On February 11th, I started spotting and I was terrified. We hadn't known for long that we were pregnant, but I already loved this baby! Overnight Dallas recorded the most snow ever, but we ventured out in all the snow to go see Dr. Barnett. We went into the ultrasound room and the tech started looking over our paperwork and noted that two babies had been implanted. She started the ultrasound and immediately said "and there they both are!" Jonathan and I both stared at the screen as we waited to hear if there was anything else she would tell us and then we both saw them...both hearts beating away! I cried. I was so excited to know both babies made it! Apparently the spotting was coming from a blood clot that formed in my uterus and Dr. Barnett told us that it would continue until the clot was gone. He also cautioned us that if the babies had attached to the clot in anyway, it was possible for us to lose one or both of them. Dr. Barnett asked us to make an appointment with my regular OB in two weeks to check everything out, but he was releasing me. So we left the doctor's office and called our parents to let them know they were getting a double dose of grandkids all at once from us. Though difficult to imagine, they are coming, both of them!! While I know this was difficult emotionally on both of us, I never could have made it through this process without my supportive husband who was there to constantly keep me focused on the end outcome instead of the daily process. He is definitely the rock in my world!
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